


Starbros

by queenmab24601



Series: AGES [2]
Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: F/M, Grey-A, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Reincarnation, grey-asexual Artemis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 12:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmab24601/pseuds/queenmab24601
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orion has gotten mostly used to the whole being reincarnated thing. His wife is a badass, Apollo and he have reached a tentative truce, and he has to deal with only so many stupid people a day.<br/>But the gods are gods. And most modern day people don't have two lives running around their heads.<br/>Ariadne really gets him. Plus they've got the whole star bling thing going on so no other friends can match that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starbros

**Author's Note:**

> A not so serious entry into my AGES verse. Mostly just a character piece exploring two characters I think would be best friends if they ever met.

When Orion wakes up in the morning, Artemis isn't there. This isn't too unusual, sometimes Apollo has emergencies and they have to go off and do freaky twin things together. 

She hasn't been gone too long, he can tell. Maybe an hour or two. When he actually gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom, some fog from the shower is still fogging up the mirror and the bathroom windows. And it still smells like sandalwood from the soap Persephone gives Artemis. He breathes it in for a moment and then showers himself.

It's Saturday and he'd actually been hoping to relax with his wife. Maybe go hunting in the Catskills. They both need it. It reminds them of who they are. 

Either way. 

When he gets out of the bathroom, his phone is lit up with a series of text messages. (He doesn't like the iPhone. But the whole Family has one. So he has to have one too. It's like he married into the mob, only the punishments are much more creative.)

There's one from Artemis. She doesn't like the iPhone either. Apollo actually programmed hers for her, so it belts out "What Makes You Beautiful" whenever he calls. The adverse side effect of that is that Orion has become programmed to jolt awake when he hears it because he associates it with too many 4 am phone calls. He's not a morning person.

ARTEMIS: Apollo related emergency. Had to go to Vegas. Love you, see you this evenining.

 

She almost got through one message without a typo. Orion's impressed. Mostly affectionately amused though.

There are then seven texts from Ariadne.

ARI, QUEEN OF THE STARS, LADY OF AWESOME, YOUR BEST FRIEND*: YOOOO

YOOO

ORIOONNNNN

COME TO BRUNCH WITH ME

DION IS BUYING MY ANNIVERSARY GIFT AND TRYING TO AVOID ME

I WANT TO HANG OUT

YOU'LL BE A LOSER STARMAN IF YOU DON'T

 

*Ariadne, it goes without saying, is the one who programmed his phone.

He calls her back instead of texting.

"When will you stop being one of those people who calls instead of texts?" She answers. "It's super annoying for the rest of us. What if I was on the toilet?"

"You'd still answer the phone," He says.

"Yes, but it would bother you," She says. "But anyway. Join me for brunch. Starbros 2k15."

"I mean I'm not doing anything."

"Yes. It's decided. The best bagels in New York. Times Square. Noon." She hangs up.

Orion is not sure how this became his life.

 

He technically met Ariadne before he'd ever been reincarnated. He doesn't remember a lot of it, because underworld memories are fuzzy. Most people who die, at least those who he knows in the loop, forget everything when they come back. They drink Lethe water and forget. But he was made of stars. Stuck somewhere between the underworld and mortality, a mashup of memories and the soul. That's what Melpomene told him the first time they met. He just nodded politely in response.

So he knew what he was. And everything pre being dead came rushing back sometime after meeting Artemis Again. (The capitalization is important).

And Ariadne, who despite now technically being immortal and never being reincarnated, was dead once too. Briefly. Dionysus came and got her and his mother and maybe a goat or something when he stomped up to Mount Olympus.

And apparently they hung out back then. Since they were both stars. (Ariadne remembers everything about being dead. She doesn't like to talk about it).

That's why Orion recognized her at first sight when he and Artemis came back to New York. (That's a story for a different time. If you are marrying into the Olympians though, Orion definitely advises divine eloping). 

Since then, Ariadne decided they were best friends. It was much easier to just go along with it. And Ariadne's pretty cool too, so there's that.

 

"You're late," Ariadne tells him when he finally finds her, sitting at a table in front of that coffee shop with the best bagels in Manhattan, no doubt, why are we arguing (TM).

"You didn't exactly give me great instructions." Orion says.

She pushes back her aviator sunglasses and adjusts her braids. "I gave you excellent instructions. Now. What do you get the best husband for your 2,000...3,000...somewhere in there anniversary?"

"Well Artemis usually tries to book us in a nice restaurant, and then we get bored halfway through and proceed to do somewhat illegal activities in Central Park."

Ariadne raises an eyebrow.

"I mean illegal like freeing ducks from the zoo or punching catcallers in the face. And that's only after I talk her down from castration. Artemis may have determined she's not exactly asexual per say, but we're not running around giving people a free show."

Ariadne half frowns and tilts her head. "It's too bad, you're both very beautiful."

"Oh my god."

She tilts her head back and laughs. "Orion, the sudden Christian."

"It's a common phrase, everyone says that!" But he's laughing too. "I don't think you and Dion have exactly that kind of relationship."

"We're not the free wheeling sex monkeys everyone seems to think so too either." She says.

"I know, I've already gotten this lecture."

"Every time it's like - bet you're going to have an orgy for Christmas? Orgy for Valentine's day? No, we're actually a very monogamous couple. Not that we're not very much for polyamory rights, but we're much more straight edge than everyone thinks."

"Every year you give me this speech," Orion says. "I think I understand."

"I mean,yes, a crown of stars is a bit ostentatious a gift to give someone you're meeting for the first time, but it's a far cry from a dick pic."

"Can you imagine dick pics back then?" Orion asks. "I mean a real, accurate depiction. You'd have to pay someone to painstakingly tile by tile reproduce it on a vase."

"I'm pretty sure someone tried to do that once," Ariadne says. "It's not out of the question."

They have had this conversation, or one like it, at least 100 times over. It feel new every time. Or maybe there's something soothing in the repetition. 

"So is that what I should give Dion?" Ariadne asks. "His dick on a vase? Pretty sure I have it memorized by now."

Orion rolls his eyes. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Besides, I know you have his gift picked out. You bought it a month ago, I was there with you. When you picked up a tiger cub from the zoo and named it Jamal."

"Yes. Artemis is great at sneaking in there, by the way. I shouldn't be surprised, but I am."

He smiled. "She's something."

Ariadne smiles back at him even wider. "Yeah." She slides her aviators back down again and leans back in the chair. "The problem is that I don't know how to occupy myself. And Jamal is going to be a great gift. Dion loves tigers. They're his babies. But I know he's got something planned, and what exactly am I supposed to do all day? Hang out with my best star bro."

Orion shakes his head. "That's the weirdest name."

"Embrace it. I'm making us matching leather jackets. Think up a cool nickname."

 

Later they walk around Manhattan. Down twelve or thirteen city blocks and then across, because they can. It's a trait of the human turned immortal. Endless wonder at what they can do.

Ariadne rolls them through the MOMA just so she can drop Pepsi cans in odd places and see if anyone thinks they're art. No one's caught her yet.

They know the city well. It's been a few centuries for her and over thirty years for him, so the streets almost feel like a forest. Not quite though. There's something wild to both of them that hem them in here. Probably later this week they'll both wonder off with their spouses to somewhere remote because they'll  _have_ to. _  
_

 

"Hey, " Orion asks after a while. "What's it like having ten kids?"

"I love them all," Ariadne says. "But they have their own lives. I'm enjoying empty nesting. Enjoy it while you can."

"I'm not sure we're going to do the kids thing at all."

"Says the guy the myths afford 50 sons and daughters."

"Ew. No way. You'd have to name them by numbers."

She peers at him and raises one eyebrow. "You are  _so_ lucky you missed the Romans."

 

Sooner rather than later, as agreed, which Ariadne may or may not know, he drops her off by the harbor, where a small yacht is anchored.

"Hey pirate," She yells up.

Dionysus makes dolphin noises down at her. 

Orion doesn't ask. 

"Hey, starman." Dionysus calls to him. "Your wife's looking for you."

Orion smiles and waves them off. Ariadne climbs up the steps to the boat where Dionysus has a hand reached out for her. For a moment they resemble exactly their Titian portrait. Minus the unnecessary nudity.

 

Back at the apartment, Artemis is sitting on the couch, her legs tucked up under her.

"Have a good time?" She asks. She's sharpening hunting knives from the table in front of her and cataloging them by size. 

"Yeah. Is the Apollo emergency resolved?"

She shrugs, but he can see the smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Mostly. He's due for a freak out in a few weeks again, but we'll deal then."

"Do you want to go hunting?" He asks.

She turns to him, expressionless. Or at least, that's what some would think. But her eyes twinkle green and silver and her nostrils flare sightly, like she's scenting the air. "Always." Artemis says, after a while. Then she gets up. "Do you?"

"I don't know, you see, my wife's expecting me at  home, and I shouldn't go off with strange women..."

She punches him lightly on the arm. 

"Yes. Only with you. You know that, right?" He asks, suddenly worried.

He shouldn't be. 

"Of course." Artemis smiles softly, just a hint of teeth to remind him of who she is. She leans in to kiss him. 

This is why he came back.

 

 


End file.
